Or at least metaphorically, I don't know how to fish. I just go and order fish. I just want to eat today. Mmm... fish...
Nothing interesting will happen in baseball until Monday anyway. Why? Because if I don't notice it, it isn't interesting. It's a proven scientific principle.
The Random Record of the Week will be delayed a day. I know most people can't start their week without reading that. And the next one will involve the Colorado Rockies. So it's bound to be good!
I'll be travelling sans laptop and be in a secret undisclosed location. My cat will be guarding my apartment. Don't get on his bad side.
So the standings will be a couple days out of date. You'll have to figure out on your own just which team in the NL is the worst. The playoff pairings are unlikely to change in the next two days. No one is going to be eliminated. No one is going to clinch a spot.