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16 down, 6 to go
2006-09-25 20:01
by Bob Timmermann

The defending World Series champion White Sox were eliminated from playoff contention today after losing to Cleveland 14-1 while Minnesota defeated Kansas City 8-1.

Chicago White Sox 2006 Playoff Hopes
Born: April 2, 2006
Died: September 25, 2006

Most experts thought that the White Sox were going to be one of the top teams in the AL this year. All of the key parts of the championship team were back and Jim Thome was added to add even more pop to a lineup loaded with power hitters such as Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye, and Joe Crede.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the playoffs. The White Sox pitching staff could not perform to the level it did in 2005. Coming into tonight's game, the White Sox staff put up an ERA of 4.60, up from 3.98 in 2005. The bullpen was shaky too.

Ultimately the White Sox died from a case of Extreme Podsednikism with some residual Andersonness that exacerabted the condition.

There will be no visitation. There will be a memorial service sometime next season. In lieu of flowers, the White Sox ask that you make a donation to the Ozzie Guillen Fund For The Improvement of Interpersonal Relations.

Comments
2006-09-25 20:06:00
1.   Sam DC
Word that disappeared entirely from the lexicon this season: Smartball.
2006-09-25 20:27:24
2.   Ravenscar
Maybe some rookie pitcher can explain to Ozzie what "schadenfreude" is.

I hate being such a small person, but MAN am I glad they - and he - got shut out from the postseason in such a resounding manner.

2006-09-25 20:49:35
3.   Bob Timmermann
But you have to give Ozzie some credit for lines like this:

Guillen credited manager Jim Leyland's arrival with helping turn the Tigers around. "He gave them the best chance to win games and did some good things for their clubhouse," he said. Guillen, though, said Detroit's talent was the biggest difference-maker and poked fun at any manager's contribution. "I've seen a lot of bad managers win the World Series," he said. "You are talking to one."

2006-09-25 21:45:32
4.   Yu-Hsing Chen
you forgot a big dose of Uribness as well...

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