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How to Win Friends and Influence Teammates by Jose Guillen
2008-05-28 22:32
by Bob Timmermann

Wednesday night the Kansas City Royals led the Minnesota Twins 8-3 going to the 9th and appeared to be on their way to ending a 10-game losing streak.

Ramon Ramirez was in to finish up, but he gave up a two-out RBI single to Mike Lamb. Two batters later, Carlos Gomez singled in another run to make it 8-5.

Exit Ramirez and enter Joel Peralta. Craig Monroe pinch hit and clobbered a game-tying three-run homer. The Twins then won it in the 10th on a Justin (on my fantasy team!) Morneau.

In the clubhouse after the game, loveable Jose Guillen was quoted by the AP:

“Too many babies here,” Guillen stormed while seated in front of his locker and spicing his language with obscenity. “They don’t know how to play the game and win the game right, the way it’s supposed to be played. And that’s the problem here. Now I know why this organization’s been losing for a while. Now I know.”

I'm awaiting a series of DVDs to marketed on ESPN with the Jose Guillen way to play baseball.

Disc one: The temper tantrum

Disc two: Blaming your teammates for your failings

Disc three: Blaming Mike Scioscia for your failings

Disc not yet completed: Learning the strike zone

2008-05-28 23:15:19
1.   Eric Enders
I think the lesson here is, if you get into a highly publicized confrontation with Mike Scioscia, the Griddle will be coming for you eventually. It may take months to track you down, years even, but you'll never sleep comfortably and one day when you least expect it...
2008-05-28 23:22:37
2.   Bob Timmermann
You want Jose Guillen playing for your favorite team?
2008-05-28 23:34:27
3.   Eric Enders
No, but not because of what he says after the games. It's not much different from what Derek Lowe said last August/September.
2008-05-28 23:37:47
4.   Bob Timmermann
Yeah, but Derek Lowe is covered elsewhere. Someone has to look after jerks who play in small markets.

Whenever there's a jerk popping off in the clubhouse, I'll be there...

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