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If Buster Olney were a political pundit...
2008-11-04 14:17
by Bob Timmermann

I saw a lot of long lines at the polls today and I thought to myself, "When I was a kid, we didn't have lines like these. People just didn't care as much."

So, I wondered how could I go and make Election Day as unimportant as it was when I was a kid and people voted for Richard Nixon overwhelmingly.

Then it hit me: move Election Day from people's own local neighborhoods to a warm weather neutral site. This would take away the advantage of any "state" and put the power of the people in the hands of those who deserve to have it: people who can afford to take time off to cavort in Phoenix or Miami for a week.

You could have a few people vote each day. You could start off the day with a celebrity golf tournament. Just think about waking up in the morning to play a round of golf with George Will and then the next day balancing it out by playing a round of golf with E.J. Dionne.

The possibilties are endless.

There would be no waiting up late at night to see if some state could finally figure out how to count its vote. There would be no Tim Russerts with greaseboards. No Dan Rathers making up metaphors that give the illusion of sounding homespun. Instead, you would just have Up With People sing the results to people.

2008-11-04 14:31:52
1.   ToyCannon
Tim Russert? Just seems weird to be using a good dead guy in this farce.
2008-11-04 14:33:17
2.   ToyCannon
You have Sons of Steve Garvey and DodgerSims but no True Blue link? The horror!@!
2008-11-04 14:46:03
3.   Eric Stephen
I viewed it as an homage to a classic election coverage moment.

Speaking of Buster, he at least has a sense of humor. From his blog this morning:

"I got lots and lots of feedback on the idea of a neutral site World Series. In keeping with the spirit of Election Day, I'd guess that 90 percent of those who responded wrote that I was an idiot, nine percent wrote that I'm a moron, and one percent backed the idea."

2008-11-04 15:04:35
4.   RZG
Hilarious. Thanks for the ingenuity.

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