Baseball Toaster The Griddle
A place where a man can slow down to a walk and live his life full measure, but he has to keep his watch on Pacific Time.
Frozen Toast
Google Search
The Griddle

02  01 

12  11  10  09  08  07 
06  05  04  03  02  01 

12  11  10  09  08  07 
06  05  04  03  02  01 

12  11  10  09  08  07 
06  05  04  03  02  01 

12  10  07 
06  05  04  03 
Suggestions, comments, ring the catcher's interference alarm?

Email me at

The stuff I keep track of
Random Game Callbacks

Select a date:

Personal favorites that I wrote
Conjectures of Execrableness
2005-03-16 09:32
by Mike Carminati
To be worst,
The lowest and most dejected thing of fortune,
Stands still in esperance, lives not in fear.
The lamentable change is from the best;
The worst returns to laughter. Welcome, then,
Thou unsubstantial air that I embrace!
The wretch that thou hast blown unto the worst
Owes nothing to thy blasts.

—William "Author" Shakespeare, King Lear

Hope springs eternal. Every team is now tied with a record of zero wins and zero losses. Every team can dream, but only one will be the worst.

Last year it was the Diamondbacks, who took a 33-win plunge to reach the depths of a 51-111 record. Two years ago, the Tigers chased history by limping to 43-119, the sixth worst record in the "modern" era and the worst since the legendarily bad expansion-year Mets.

This year, there are a number of great candidates. Jim Caple writes that the Rockies are going the extra mile to grab the gold ring of sucking. But they won't be able to coast to crappiness. The D-Backs and D-Rays seem deliciously wretched, and don’t forget the Royals, Brewers, Mariners, Jays, Pirates, and Reds.

Here are all the teams from 2004 with a sub-.450 winning percentage:

Arizona Diamondbacks51111.315
Kansas City Royals58104.358
Seattle Mariners6399.389
Montreal Expos6795.414
Milwaukee Brewers6794.416
Toronto Blue Jays6794.416
Colorado Rockies6894.420
Tampa Bay Devil Rays7091.435
New York Mets7191.438
Detroit Tigers7290.444
Pittsburgh Pirates7289.447

If anyone wants to top (or bottom) the '03 Tigers as the worst team of the decade, they are going to have to give 150% or is it 200%—what's the mathematically challenged standard today?

Here are the worst so far in the 2000s:

Detroit Tigers200343119.265
Arizona Diamondbacks200451111.315
Detroit Tigers200255106.342
Tampa Bay Devil Rays200255106.342
Milwaukee Brewers200256106.346
Kansas City Royals200458104.358
Kansas City Royals200262100.383
Pittsburgh Pirates200162100.383
Tampa Bay Devil Rays200162100.383
Baltimore Orioles20016398.389
Seattle Mariners20046399.389
Tampa Bay Devil Rays20036399.389
San Diego Padres20036498.395

So who will be the worst, the absolute nadir, this year? And can they challenge Detroit for the worst of the decade? Discuss…

2005-03-16 10:13:09
1.   Hop Wechsler
My money would be on the Devil Rays. Tampa overachieved last year and despite some decent youth will probably fall back. I have enough trivial reasons to be optimistic about the other teams (OK, some less trivial: Ben Sheets, Oliver Perez, Zach Greinke, Roy Halladay, Russ Ortiz...OK joking but seriously Arizona should be better, enough young Rockies who have half a chance to be better than Neifi Perez, Beltre being better than Willie Bloomquist, the Reds' offense helping them win a few 9-7 games) but not much on the Devil Rays. & I expect Victor Zambrano to have a decent year for the Mets, whatever it's worth. I wouldn't say I wouldn't have traded him for Kazmir...yet...but I wouldn't expect much from Kazmir in 2005 either.
2005-03-16 10:22:59
2.   Ken Arneson
To me, Kansas City looks head and shoulders above (or is it ankles and feet below?) anyone else as this year's worst team. Matt Stairs and Terrence Long in the OF? Yeeowch.
2005-03-16 11:11:44
3.   Cliff Corcoran
I've gotta second KC here. Followed by Tampa Bay. The D'Backs have way to large of a Pythagorean hole to climb out of and their moves could all implode on them, so put them third worst. Meanwhile, I notice no one's mentioned the Nationals. They have to be in this conversation, especially because you have no idea how RFK will play and how that might effect the team, or what will fall off Nick Johnson this year.
2005-03-16 11:49:11
4.   Jon Weisman
If you're a fan of one of these teams and you're this bad heading into September, do you root for losses to be immortalized? If you're going to be bad, should you be tops at being bad?

Probably not, I guess.

2005-03-16 12:27:00
5.   Cliff Corcoran
I know this will elicit groans, but as a fan of the Yankees during the dark days from '88-'92, the answer to Jon's question is no. You root for .500. If things are that dire in Sept, you root for individual players to either reach statistical goals, or to show something that bodes well for next year. And you hope against hope that your team's awful season will not become immortalized. The 1990 Yankees are not infamous. I'm pleased about that.
2005-03-16 13:06:17
6.   Hop Wechsler
Andy Hawkins pitching a no-hitter & losing isn't infamous?
2005-03-16 13:18:21
7.   Mike Carminati
As a Phillies fan, "Ahem, Groan!"
2005-03-16 19:21:39
8.   Cliff Corcoran
Cripes, I think I shut that out of my head. Dude, he didn't just lose, he lost 4-0 in eight innings. Thank you King Leyritz.
2005-03-17 13:52:52
9.   graciebarn
How to tell if a team is too one-dimensional...

If the batting average of any player is higher than the team's winning percentage, then we have some issues. (Follow the turn-of-the-millennium Mariners' lead...)

2005-03-18 07:29:34
10.   McEwing
My money would be on the Oakland A's
to go from the penthouse to the outhouse.
Yes , they lose a great player every season, but still manage to contend.
However losing Mulder and Hudson is to much to overcome. The team is demoralized and look for ZITO to also be traded soon.
Prediction -30 WINS - LESS than 2004 season.
2005-03-20 18:39:49
11.   Voxter
My money would be on the Royals, as well. It would have been on the D-Rays, but Alomar's retirement probably gets Upton into the lineup, adding a win or two. It's gonna be a tight race; if Troy Glaus goes down, Arizona will be in real trouble, too.

I'm resisting the urge to say something to this McEwing fellow . . .

Comment status: comments have been closed. Baseball Toaster is now out of business.