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Breaking news about snails
2006-03-23 09:33
by Bob Timmermann

A British study says that left-handed snails are better than right-handed ones at defending themselves against predators.

First of all, I didn't know snails had hands. If they have true hands with opposable digits, this is going to really upset the balance of power in the animal kingdom and I'm going out and buying the biggest container of Snarol I can find.

Second, snails' principal predators seem to be crabs. Which led to this bizarre passage:

Alternatively, researchers said crabs might simply not be used to attacking lefties, just as baseball pitchers face fewer left-handed batters.

So then what about switch snails?

2006-03-23 10:11:24
1.   scareduck
You mean, hermaphrodites?

By that definition, ALL snails are switch... uh..

2006-03-23 10:55:49
2.   Ken Arneson
I don't get it. If being a lefty is a survival advantage, why hasn't nature selected for leftiness, or at least, produced a 50-50 population? There must be some corresponding disadvantage that keeps the percentage of lefties low.
2006-03-23 10:57:24
3.   Bob Timmermann
No one has yet to address how snails have hands.
2006-03-23 11:16:46
4.   Jen
Handedness in snails refers to which direction their shells coil.
2006-03-23 11:23:04
5.   Bob Timmermann
Thank you.

I can now avoid a nightmare about a snail trying to strangle me.

Related this, I once went out for a walk at night and when I got home I discovered that a slug had attached itself to my pants and was crawling further up me.

I took the slug outside instead of salting it. Mainly because I didn't want to see a dead slug on my clothing.

2006-03-23 15:21:48
6.   dianagramr

You do realize that by relinquishing your "passenger", your "slug"-ging percentage took a big hit.

(insert groan here)

- left-handed, not a snail

2006-03-23 16:00:21
7.   Xeifrank
Funny thread. Great work everyone.
vr, Xei
ps - I have nothing funny to add. :(
2006-03-23 16:54:20
8.   Bob Timmermann
Hee-Snail Choi has trouble facing snails with unusual shell angles.
2006-03-23 20:53:12
9.   Eric L
Plus, his shell is ugly.
2006-03-23 21:49:09
10.   Improbable88
This is THE perfect "Griddle" post.

I think this becomes the landmark that all future posts must aspire to.

Great Stuff!

2006-03-24 07:27:11
11.   dianagramr
Just imagine what Joe Morgan would have to say about that?

(enjoy the silence)

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