The Texas Rangers became the ninth team to be eliminated from playoff contention tonight. The Rangers were eliminated after losing to Seattle 9-7 in extra innings while the Angels defeated Kansas City 5-2 and Oakland defeated Cleveland, 7-3.
This gives Texas 75 losses, for a maximum of 87 wins. The Angels have 81 wins and the Athletics have 87 wins. Since the Angels and Athletics play each other seven times, one will have to win at least 88 games. The Rangers cannot win the wild card since the Twins have 89 wins.
Texas Rangers Playoff Hopes
Born: April 3, 2006
Died: September 19, 2006
The Texas Rangers began the 2006 season with hopes especially since young GM Jon Daniels assumed he had fleeced Washington GM Jim Bowden by acquiring Brad Wilkerson in exchange for Alfonso Soriano. Later in the offseason, the Rangers acquired pitcher Adam Eaton to bolster their rotation.
But Wilkerson turned out to be a bust, Eaton was hurt much of the year, and the Rangers eventually succumbed to an attack of Showalter's Syndrome, a malicious disease marked by an obsessive desire to micromanage combined with a bad bullpen and inconsistent offense.
The Rangers are survived by Michael Young, Mark Texeira, and several middling pitchers. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the Frank Francisco Society for the Prevention of Chair Throwing Injuries. Remember the best way to prevent flying furniture related injuries is eternal vigilance.
The Griddle wishes to apologize to the fans of the Milwaukee Brewers for prematurely running their funeral notice. Reports state that the Brewers are only "mostly dead."