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2006-09-22 21:47
by Bob Timmermann

The Colorado Rockies were eliminated from playoff contention today after San Diego defeated Pittsburgh 6-2. The Padres now have 81 wins, one more than the Rockies can win. The Rockies cannot win the wild card either as Philadelphia and Florida have to finish with more than 80 wins.

Colorado Rockies Playoff Hopes
Born: April 3, 2006
Died: September 22, 2006

Not much was expected from the Rockies in 2006, but the team managed to give its fans some hope as they toyed with first place during the summer. The team received excellent pitching from its starters and its bullpen for the first time ever. However, the offense at Coors, outside of Matt Holliday and Garret Atkins was spotty. Eventually the team just gave up and signed up Vinny Castilla because he seemed like a nice guy.

The coroner ruled that the Rockies died of a humidor-related illness. The team was just too wet. Visitation will be at Coors Field from September 22 through September 28.

In lieu of flowers, the Colorado Rockies ask you to make donations to your favorite climate-controlled home for sick baseballs.

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