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17 down, 5 to go
2006-09-25 21:51
by Bob Timmermann

The San Francisco Giants were eliminated from playoff contention tonight when they lost to Arizona at home 7-1, giving them 81 losses for the season and unable to catch wild card leaders Philadelphia and Los Angeles who have 82 wins.

San Francisco Giants 2006 Playoff Hopes
Born: April 3, 2006
Died: September 25, 2006

The 2006 Giants were one of the oldest teams in the majors and at times featured an outfield where each player was 40 years old or over (Barry Bonds, Steve Finley, and Moises Alou). Then there was the case of 38-year old shorstop Omar Vizquel and 38-year old reliever Mike Stanton.

But the old guys, with the exception of Finley, all played pretty well. Bonds, whom people thought would either be through or have to take a leave of absence because he was indicted, put together a solid year with an OPS over 1.000 again. And Bonds broke Hank Aaron's career mark for NL home runs.

However, there was the problem with the pitching staff. 21-year old Matt Cain brought hope. 32-year old Jason Schmidt was solid. And other than that, the pitching was pretty awful. Free agent Matt Morris has an ERA of 5.09. And it gets worse after that.

The cause of death was listed as Sabeangeria, a disease marked by the rapid aging of the a team's roster.

Visitation will be at AT&T Park from September 25-October 1. In lieu of flowers, the Giants ask that you make a donation to the Society for the Prevention of Leaking of Federal Grand Jury Testimony or the Sal Yvars Telescope Collectors Association.

2006-09-25 21:58:17
1.   Xeifrank
haha, love it! Bye-Bye Gnats. May you be re-incarnated as a tortoise. One of those giant tortoises that live for 200 years. You'll need it.
vr, Xei
2006-09-26 09:27:05
2.   Greg Brock
On the bright side, the youth movement begins with the impending signing of Luis Gonzales.

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