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Prepare your ode for the newest Reds pitcher
2007-06-08 12:09
by Bob Timmermann

Cincinnati has recalled 21-year old Homer Bailey from Louisville to start tonight on the mound at home against Cleveland. Todd Coffey was sent down.

Bailey will be the first Homer in the majors since Homer Bush in 2004. But before that you had to go all the way back to 1956 to find a Homer, in Dixie Howell, whose given name was Homer Elliott Howell. And you have to go back to 1947 to find a Homer who went by Homer in Homer Spragins

2007-06-08 12:29:31
1.   Ember Nickel
Here's to an intriguing game
From a man with an intriguing name.
Though David Dewitt
Might surrender a hit
Living up to "homer" could bring shame.
2007-06-08 12:40:45
2.   kylepetterson
So.....this is pretty much the "No Homers" club?
2007-06-08 13:00:28
3.   Shaun P
(With apologies to everyone)

Bailey, Homer Bailey, he's the greatest Reds pitching prospect since '03.
From the, town of LaGrange, he's about to hit a chestnut tree.


2007-06-08 14:02:49
4.   Humma Kavula
Won't you play Homer Bailey, won't you play him?
Reds fans cry all day long
They'll root for Homer Bailey, they'll cheer him on
Homer won't do 'em wrong!
2007-06-08 14:26:33
5.   unmoderated
Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story
of that man skilled in all ways of pitching,
the wanderer, harried for years on end,
after he plundered the stronghold
on the proud height of AAA affiliate Louisville.
2007-06-08 14:42:54
6.   mehmattski
There once was a man from LaGrange
His name, for a pitcher, quite strange
But the crowd wouldn't smirk
After Homer made his quick work
Their opinion of him would soon change.
2007-06-08 15:49:33
7.   Jon Weisman
Ode to My Woman
Steve Martin

Saturday Night Live
May 20, 1989

Ode to My Woman

When a man meets the woman he loves, everything changes. His heart races, his head spins, and suddenly all the dozens and dozens of women he's sleeping with no longer matter. A few years ago, I found the woman I love, and I've put some of my feelings into this little ode.

Every man needs a woman, and I need you --
to lift me when I am sad,
to comfort me when I am down,
to clean me when I am drunk,
to walk beside me when I want to look like I'm not gay,
to walk in front of me when I need someone to act as a human windbreak,
to kiss me when I am horny,
to massage me when I am tense and/or horny,
to make me horny when I am not horny, and then to watch me fall asleep.

I need you darling to clean between my toes when they are not cleaned to my satisfaction,
to pick the nits out of my hair when I have head lice,
to try milk for me when I am not sure of the expiration date,
to be there when I need you to be there, and to be out of town the rest of the time.

My darling, although it may seem sentimental, I want to take this moment to tell you I love you -- because I don't want to lose half my stuff. And even though you are far away across the ocean, I always have this [pointing to ring finger where there is no wedding ring] to remind me --[realizes the ring is not there] sorry [and hides hand].

Goodnight, my love.

2007-06-08 16:39:26
8.   mikethinksblue
Bailey! Homer Bailey!
The most recent pitcher named Homer in the Major Leagues...
From the, Town of Louisville
He's about to pitch for Cincinnati

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